Talking Baseball

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Posted by Jon on Friday, October 01, 2004

A Monumental Move

For all of the sadness I feel for Montreal and its fans, there's one thing I love about a new team in Washington: coming up with it's name.

Now, I'm sure we'll hear a lot of people calling for the reinstatement of the Senators, but frankly, that's too bland for me. No, instead D.C. needs something new. I just have one rule: no "cool" animal names!

We had the Florida Marlins, then the Arizona Diamondbacks, then the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. Maybe it's the untraditional bright colors of their uniforms, but these teams have never appealed to me. I don't want to see the new team be the Washington Squirrels, the Washington Wombats, or the Washington Wrens, although the Wrens could work well with baseball's current ornithological obsession.

The team needs something new, catchy, and clever. Oh, I have just the thing! The perfect name for the newest team in baseball is the Washington Monuments. Hey, I like it. It's unique to the area and gives the team an immediate sense of place without involving any boring government positions.

I can hear it as if it's April already: "Now batting for the Monuments, number 48, the left fielder, Terrmell Sledge."

It certainly has a ring to it. And it wouldn't be hard to come up with some decent front-page headlines, too.

Monuments Toppled in Extras
Monuments Build on Division Lead
Monumental Excitement: Washington World Champs

It's sure to happen with such a great name.

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